Kawan.

Assalamu'alaikum.

It's been long.

Past few days, a friend of mine was telling me how upset she was with a friend of her.

As usual, with love and care, I advised her on what to do.

As for now, mari aku berkongsi satu cerita--

Cerita aku dan junior aku

Yang merupakan sahabat baik aku.

Ada satu hari, aku dan kawan kepada sahabat baik aku keluar bersama sebab ada hal. Untuk mengisi masa kosong dari berdiam diri, kami berbual. Entah macam mana, dia tanya aku

'Macam mana kak Shida boleh kawan dengan dia? Maksud saya, tak rasa pelik ke sebab beza umur walaupun setahun tapi masih boleh berkawan rapat macam tak ada jurang umur?'

*senyum kosong

"Dia banyak sangat sabar dengan kak Shida. Kerenah kak Shida dia layankan, bebal kak Shida dia surutkan, kemahuan kak Shida dia turutkan. Sebab tuh kak Shida boleh sabar dengan setiap kerenah dia. "

'Eh? Dia pun cakap benda yang sama jugak bila saya tanya dia.'

"Apa yang dia cakap?"

'Dia cakap dia pun boleh sabar dengan kak Shida sebab kak Shida banyak sabar dengan dia.'

*senyum sesorang lagi.

The key to a successful friendship is to BE PATIENT. 

Bear in mind that how we are not perfect, so is our friends. 

Tolerate to them as they will tolerate to you. 

When having a problem, be open. Talk and discuss about that problem. Find the solution together.

Don't just keep it to yourself. Nothing going to be happen. Nothing is going to be solved if you keep quiet.

If they are truly your friend, they will understand.

And if they don't, you might as well find another friend, haha.

The Parachute

Assalamu'alaikum.

In the presentation skill class, we were playing a game called 'The Parachute'. See the plot was we were in a plane that are going to crash and there are only 2 parachute. 1 was taken by our instructor while for the other one, we should convince her why we deserve the parachute.

Each of us was given a character. There are gay boy, pregnant mother with triplets, a serial killer and lots. While our instructor was confused over the character to be given to this one particular student, she asked for the boys help.

'Come on guys, help me. What character should we gave her?'
A boy answered "Mahatma Gandhi!"
'No, the character should be someone who didn't deserve to get the parachute so that she will fight for it. Gandhi was a good person.'
"ROSMAH!". He shouted loudly while saying that.

There was an awkward 5 seconds in the class. Then everyone started to laugh. I in particular, almost threw up the water I just drank, hahaha. This guys got balls, haha. And yes, the girl have the character of Rosmah. And how did she convince our instructor?

By saying 'If you doesn't save me, my husband will do terrible things to you. Not only to you but your whole family. After all, my husband has such power in our country.' Hahaha, that was fun.  :D

Sins.

Assalamu'alaikum.

*pause

*long sigh

Hari ini terasa sangat berdosa. Rasa bersalah yang melampau. Selalu kalau mencarut kat orang pun, tak terasa dosa sampai macam nih.

*okay, tak lawak.

Lepas buat salah, rasa seronok 5 saat. Lepas tuh rasa bersalah dan berdosa. Up till now, the guilt been haunting me. Confused over what to do, I call upon my best friend. Asking for her advice. Asking for her strength.

'Aku rasa berdosa laa weh. Bagi kata-kata semangat jap.'

"Berdosa? Hang buat apa? Aku dah suspens dah nih."

'Mana boleh cakap dosa apa aku buat. Nanti Allah tak nak ampun dosa aku kalau aku hebah dosa/aib aku sendiri.'

*“Allah memanjangkan tangan-Nya pada waktu malam untuk mengampunkan pembuat dosa di waktu siang dan Allah memanjangkan tangan-Nya pada waktu siang untuk mengampunkan pembuat dosa pada waktu malam sehinggalah terbit matahari dari barat” 

Hadith Riwayat Ahmad dan Muslim.

 

"Dosa tuh besaq ka sikit?" kawan aku tanya.

'Hurmm, nak kata dosa teruk, tadak aa sangat.'

"Eh? Boleh pulak letak sendiri dosa teruk ke tak teruk." Dia jugak yang tanya aku tadi. Eesh budak ni.

*gelak-gelak

'Takde laa. Aku tataw nak cakap dosa besaq ke tak. Tapi aku tau apa yang aku buat salah. Dan kalau aku tau salah, maka dosa.' Laju aku menjawab soalan kawan aku.

 

"Hurm, kalau dah rasa berdosa, dah sedar hang buat salah. Bagus lah. Sekurangnya, hang sedar. Balik lah pada Allah. Banyak-banyak doa, mintak ampun, istighfar banyak-banyak. Manusia mana ada yang lepas dari dosa dan salah. Hang ingat balik, hang yang dulu dengan hang yang sekarang mana lebih bahagia? Hang tak bahagia ke dengan cara hidup hang sekarang? Hang nak dapat hidayah Allah ni, hang rasa susah ke senang? Untuk hang jadi hang yang sekarang ni, hang rasa susah ke senang?"

Lama aku diam membisu.

'Aku pun tataw nak cakap aku bahagia ke tak weh. Aku serious tataw. Memang, nak dapat hidayah Allah ni susah. Untuk aku jadi aku yang sekarang ni, lagi laa susah. Tapi untuk aku dapat benda yang aku suka tapi salah ni pun susah jugak.'

Bersama, kami ketawa untuk mengurangkan ketegangan. Lepas tuh dia diam, aku diam berganda-ganda.

Dia sambung berkata-kata.

"Aku tau. Ada masa, aku nak balik macam dulu jugak. Aku paham. Tapi aku selalu pikir, semua nih dunia ja. Sementara. Akhirat tuh yang kekal."

*pause. 

Masa silam keluar satu demi satu. 

Bersilih ganti dengan segala kuliah agama yang aku pi. 

Terngiang di telinga tazkirah kawan-kawan. 

Terbayang muka mak dan abah.

*mata berkolam.

'Aku paham. Doakan aku.'

*hang up the phone.

Terima kasih kerana ada untuk aku. Bila mana aku sendiri yang tolak hang jauh dari aku, nyata bahawa hakikatnya, hang tak pernah jauh dari aku. Dan ya, doakan aku. Aku manusia pendosa yang mana ada masa-masa tertentu, aku terjatuh dalam kenangan lama. 

Doakan aku supaya kuat iman dan tabah hati.

 

From M to L and XL.

Assalamu'alaikum..

Nope. The topis is not about some sort of recipe how to gain your weight, how to increase your body size or what not, haha. 

Then what it is about? Read. Ahahaha.

Masa awal-awal belajar pakai tudung dulu, aku pakai tudung saiz M. Sebab apa? Panas. *tangan ke bahu, mata ke atas. But seriously though, untuk someone yang baru belajar pakai tudung, pakai tudung memang panas. Mana tak nya, suhu kat Malaysia ni rasa macam dok kat Gurun Sahara.

Bila dah lama, dah biasa dengan panas tuh. Bila panas pun, rasa macam sejuk je. Macam ada air-cond dalma tudung giteww, ahaha. Then I moved one step forward. I started to wear my tudung in L size. Seriously, masa awal-awal pakai, rasa macam aku ni dah layak masuk Ustazah Pilihan, ahaha. *bajet sangat. 

Tudung aku semua murah-murah je. Aku tak beli haa tudung kat Juma ke, butik Ariani ke butik apa ka. Tempat aku beli tudung adalah di pasar malam. Kalau tak pasar malam, pasar pagi, haha. Sebab apa? Murah. Aku mana ada duit. Yelah, takkan nak pakai tudung hitam je, nanti orang kata aku tengah berkabung pulak. Tudung beli banyak kaler, nak matching dengan baju. Baru nampak glamour sikit, haha. Tapi tu lah, satu kekurangan beli kat tempat macam ni, kualiti tuh kurang sikit. Tudung aku labuh, tapi kain nipis. Tak jarang okay? Tapi kain dia nipis.

Then tertarik nak pakai tudung labuh. Labuh yang labuh gila punya. Macam ustazah dok pakai tuh. Aku panggil tudung tuh, tudung cendawan. Murah rezeki aku, ada sorang kawan ni, dia nak buang tudung dia yang macam ustazah tuh. *aku lupa kenapa dia nak buang

Aku pun minta laa tudung tu dari dia. Nak try pakai dulu. Nak test dulu laa takut tak sesuai ke hapa ke kan? Dari aku habis duit beli sendiri, baik aku pakai je tudung kawan aku ni. Dah alang-alang dia pun tak nak pakai. Kawan aku pun bermurah hati laa bagi tudung dia kat aku. Moga Allah limpahkan rahmat dan murahkan rezeki kawan aku nih.  :)

Aku pun start pakai. Ya Allah, panasnya, Allah je yang tau. Berpeluh-peluh ni haa aku pakai tudung tuh. Rasa macam portable sauna giteww. My mom is so sweet and caring. She realized that the tudung is making me feel hot and sweaty. Dia kenalkan satu jenis tudung ni kat aku.

Aku pun try je laa. Beli buat tudung raya 2 helai, saiz XL. Yang penting, tutup aurat. Pakai tudung jenis apa pun tak kesah kan? Bila dah pakai, rasa seronok. Sebab apa? Sebab dia besttt, haha. Tudung ni tebal, tapi tebal yang sedap pakai. Dan yang paling best, tudung itu kita boleh campak dalam mesin basuh tanpa perlu pikir sama ada 'awning' dia akan patah. Sebab tudung ni takda awning. Haa, sesuai sangat laa dengan orang macam aku yang pemaleh ni. Ye dak? Haha. Plus, dia ada macam lapisan untuk tutup dagu kita. Tahukah anda bahawa DAGU KITA ADALAH AURAT? 

Kalau tataw, sekarang aku bagitau. Tudung tuh mahal sikit aaa. Sehelai rm 38.00. Hari tu sebelum balik UIA, aku beli lagi. Pergi dengan adik. Adik ambil 1, aku ambil 2. Kakak tuh baikk, dia bagi harga sehelai tudung rm30.00. Semoga Allah merahmati dan memurahkan rezeki akak.

Pernah sekali, aku dok bebel kat adik. Baju Muslimah mahal, tudung pun jual mahal. Aku yang baru nak belajar pakai baju labuh dengan tudung ni pun rasa macam down sikit sebab mahal oooiii. Adik aku diam kejap, kemudian dia kata

"Syurga itu mahal. Kalau kita nak masuk syurga, harga yang patut kita bayar haruslah mahal juga. Tak apa, Allah redha setiap duit kita yang habis demi nak beli baju dan tudung yang tutup aurat ni."

Debush! Haa, hamek kau. Adik aku cakap gitu kat aku. Adik okay? Bukan kakak aku. Malu kejap. Like seriously, lepas tuh aku tak complaint dah depan adik aku. Nak complaint pon, dalam hati je, haha.

Buat mereka di luar sana yang masih dalam proses berubah, ingat. Setiap wang kita, setiap titik peluh kita yang mengalir demi menjaga aurat kita, insya Allah, Allah redha. Dan ya, aku sangat rekemen tudung ni. Sebab apa? Sebab tudung ni tutup aurat yang kita tak ambil kisah sangat. Aurat apakah itu? Bukan rambut tapi dagu. :)

Para peniaga tudung di luar sana, jual laa tudung ni. Aku tataw la tempat lain senang nak cari ke tak, tapi kat Alor Setar, susah sangat. Aku beli ni kat Arked Empire, dekat Pekan Rabu. Cuma kedai ni yang jual tudung ni dengan banyak pilihan warna dan saiz. Kedai lain susah nak carik. Parking kat Arked Empire tu dah laa susah gileww, haha.

#Nah, aku ada tangkap gambar tudung aku in case orang yang baca entri ni tak dapat nak imagine tudung tuh cena. Yang dalam bulat tuh, yang anak panah tuh, tuh laa lapisan yang tutup dagu tuh. Simple kan? But still, it is nice. :)

-Shah Sahaja-

Baju Labuh aka Baju Muslimah.

Assalamu'alaikum..

One day, my friends and I went to some shopping mall. We were talking when she suddenly ask me thing I would never expect would come out from her mouth.

'Kenapa hang pakai baju labuh weh?'

"Eh? Apa maksud hang?"

'Hang nak berubah, aku paham. Pakai tudung bagai, tapi kenapa hang berubah sampai pakai baju labuh semua?'

"Hurmmmmm..."

Tak dinafikan, aku ambil masa lama nak jawab. Sebab aku pun tengah pikir

"A'ah laaa, macam mana aku boleh pakai baju labuh eh? Spoil image rock aku ni, haha."

But still in the end, my answer was 

"Aku masuk UIA, aku tengok banyak orang pakai baju labuh. Kawan-kawan kelas aku pun pakai baju labuh. Aku jadi malu sebab baju aku singkat dari baju depa. Lagi pun, baju labuh tutup aurat aku. Paha aku ni bukan kecik macam paha hang, aku pakai seluar besar pun, nampak fit lagi. 

Paling kurang, bila aku pakai baju labuh ni, tak nampak bentuk kaki aku. Nak pakai legging pun rilek sikit, haha."

Kalau betul niat kita nak berubah kerana Allah, pasti Allah akan beri jalan pada kita. Allah datangkan kita kawan-kawan yang baik, macam kawan aku di UIA. And instead of UITM, Allah beri aku UIA, supaya aku dapat dalami lagi ilmu agama.

Well, there's a lot of good things Allah have gave me. To list it out would take me writing the entry to death, haha. I am just grateful that I had been given the chance to walk in the true path. :)

Tudung as a safety net.

Assalamu'alaikum..

At first, I didn't know and didn't understand why people said that 'tudung' will keep us safe from bad things. I mean like, I see lots of people who are wearing 'tudung' holding hand with their boyfriend which is clearly HARAM as they are not married yet, and other stuff.

Well, until one moment when I was chatting with my friend, then I realize that actually, I am safe by wearing 'tudung'.

I have boy friends. Best boy friends I have in my whole life. We were so closed that even when we were out for dinner or lunch, we'll be sitting next to each other in a very short distance. It is quite rare that we will be sitting far from each other. Not only that, we'll be punching and slapping on each other body as we crack joke. 

I am that close to them until I was no longer treated as a woman. There are times when they came out seeing me only wearing boxers. Oh, how we have no respect for each other. And I must said, we were stupid at that time.

After I have changed. Quite a few months later, I met my boy friend. We had dinner together. Yes, we were still sitting next to each other, but we kept our boundary. We sit far from each other. Before we were heading home, my friend take a picture of us. We stand far from each other. 

Then my friend said 'Closer dude.'

Unexpectedly my boy friend said "No. She is not my mahram. It is haram."

Oh, how it touch my heart. How he respect me as a woman. How he kept our friendship while still holding on to the Do's and Don't's of Islam. Only by wearing 'tudung', he realized the dignity of woman in Islam and how woman should be treated according to Islam.

But of course, only the proper wear of 'tudung' can keep us safe. Not by putting a piece of cloth on top of your head while you are wearing some kind of skinny jeans and tight cloth.

O' Allah, bless our friendship. Keep us safe from the evil and grant us Jannah. 

Energy donation.

Assalamu'alaikum..

Every weekend in Giant, there will be a group of organisation who organized some kind of a charity program. They placed a bin for us to drop off any kind of dried food to be given to the needy. While we were shopping, we can by somethings and drop it off after we have paid it.

There first day it was held, I was clueless about that situation and what it is all about. So I ask my friend about that. Bla bla blaa.. She explained that to me. Devi was standing right beside me to know what are we talking about.

After I finished listening to that explanation, I sigh. I said to Devi that I have no money to buy anything and drop it to the bin. What surprised me was when she said that we can donate our energy. I was a bit puzzled by that term. Knowing that I don't clearly understood by what she suggesting, she said this to me

'Kita suruh orang yang tengah edarkan kertas tuh rehat. Lepas tuh kita ambil kertas dia. Lepas tu kita pulak tolong edarkan kertas tu. Macam tu laa cara kita nak derma tenaga, kakak.'

I was stunned. My friend and I were staring at each other with full of shame. We were shame by the fact that we as a Muslim have so many excuse when it come to donating something when this Indian girl, despite having no money, she still have another way of contributing and helping the needy.

It's a blessing that Devi is my friend. Whenever my Imaan was weak and I was in an unstable mood, she was there to remind me the wonder of the world. 

And I am thankful to God for blessing me with a friend like her.   :)