Hidayah milik Allah.

Tadi malam tengok Majalah 3 dengan mak. Pasal non-Muslim in Japan revert to Islam.  Depa interview few Japan Muslim people. Among those few, the one that attract my attention was a monk.

Tak ingat apa nama sami tuh. Dari kecil dia jadi sami dan dia benci dengan agama Islam sebab terpengaruh dengan media yang mengatakan orang beragama Islam itu pengganas.

Kunjungan dia ke India memberi hidayah. Dia singgah makan kat satu kedai. Pemilik kedai tuh layan dia baik sangat, dia terharu dan kagum. Dan dia bertanya kepada pemilik kedai itu
"Are you a Hindu?"
'Nope.'
"Then what is your religion?"
'I am a Muslim.'

Dari situ, pandangan dia tentang Islam berubah. Dia mula mencari apa itu Islam. Hasil pencarian dia membuatkan dia jatuh cinta dengan Islam dan memeluk agama Islam.

Seorang sami Buddha, menjadi penganut agama Islam di bumi yang mana penganut Islam cuma 10 ribu. Agama Islam adalah agama minoriti di Jepun. Benarlah firman Allah,
"Sesungguhnya kamu tidak akan dapat memberi petunjuk kepada orang yang kamu kasihi, tetapi Allah memberi petunjuk kepada orang yang dikehendaki-Nya, dan Allah lebih mengetahui orang-orang yang mau menerima petunjuk." (QS. Al Qashash: 56)

Dari sini dapat kita lihat dan refleks pada diri sendiri. Kalau tak tahu dan tak punya ilmu yang cukup untuk berdakwah melalui lisan, cukup dengan perbuatan. Kalaulah pemilik kedai tu bersikap biadap dengan sami tu, agak2, tergerak tak hati sami tu nak mencari tentang Islam?

Berlaku baiklah kita pada semua orang. Tanpa mengira bangsa mahupun agama. Seperti hadis Nabi,
"Tidak ada sesuatu yang lebih berat timbangannya (di Hari Kiamat) dibanding Akhlak mulia" HR. Abu Dawud, Ibnu Majah, At-Turmudzi, dan Ahmad, dari Abu Darda

Dealing with problems

Assalamu'alaikum..

Few weeks ago, I had a problem. And no, I didn't want to mention about that. What I want to tell here is about how I deal with it.

I didn't tell any of my friends. Well, it was known to some friends by accidental and I told them to keep it close. I called my friend, cried over the phone while she listened with patient. Yet, I told her nothing. I was in a mourning mood for 2 days. Then came Allah's help.

A friend of mine text me, asking to borrow my laptop since I have the wi-fi connection and her laptop can't connect to the wi-fi. Being generous, I said yes. 

'Demam ke?' She asked me.

"Tak lah, tak dak mood aaa."

'Muka cam tak sihat je.'

"Kak Shida ada masalah aaa."

'Masalah apa?'

Right at the moment she asked what is my problem, I keep quiet. I was wondering should I tell her or not. I've tell no one, why would I tell her? And Bam! All of sudden, my mouth blurted out what was my problem is. She listened to it, smile and laugh. 

It was probably the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. Well, perhaps because it is my mood swing and her smile seems to lighten me up. Then she told me 'It will be just fine.'

Together, we walk back to my room. She was doing her work at my table, I was reading book while laying down the on the floor. I watch her doing her work. With that image in my eyes, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, there she was. Still doing her work. 

'Mimpi apa tadi? Tidur nyenyak gila.' 

*I smiled.

I've been sleeping for only an hour. But that one hour feels like I've been sleeping for a day. It was peaceful. A heavy rock feels have been lifted from my small heart. My mind seems to be clear and empty from any emotion. I feel fresh and new. Perhaps, it was because I have nothing left in my heart. After all, I've been spilling what bothers me for couple days to my friend.

We, human are imperfect. There are times when we will come across a dilemma, problems that we might feel shy to share it with our friend, we might stumbles, fall down hard and lots. But remember, when those time comes, seek for help. 

Friend might not be able to help us, but by telling them our problem, we are sharing the problem with them. Some of the heavy burden, will be gone, makes it bearable for us.

Talk to someone. And choose the person you want to talk to wisely.

Surprises of life.

Assalamu'alaikum.

Last 21st December 2013, my friend's mum's passed away. It was cause of stroke. I was very close to her as I called her 'Mama.' According to what my friend said, Mama was talking happily, making jokes and laughing with them when she suddenly collapse while trying to answer a phone call.

After a brain scan done by my friend's aunt's, it seems that Mama had an internal bleeding in her brain. It was worst. After 3 days in coma, Mama went to meet her Creator, the One and Only, Allah. I was in shocked. As far as I know Mama, she rarely get sick. And all of a sudden, she passed away already.

When I know bout' the news, I was getting ready to get back home from IIUM to my hometown. Since my friend and I were in the same hometown, I was eager to get back home. I drove fast. Like, real fast. Even to the point, dad asked to changed driver from me to my baby sis.

Mama's death taught me. The same way as my uncle's death do. Life is full of surprise. And you just can't expect what awaits us the next minute. Or perhaps, second. Maybe millisecond. Who knows. Only Allah know that.

My friend and Mama were very close. They used to joke around, help each other in the kitchen, went out together for food hunting at 2:00 am and lots. They almost do everything together. Well, my mum and I was the opposite of that. I mean, I did help my mum in the kitchen, we make jokes and laugh. But our communication was not deep enough as my friend and Mama.

Through Mama's death, I learned how precious it is the relationship between family. I make a promise to myself. 

• I want to make my mum happy. 
• I want to see her laugh at my jokes. 
• I want to massage her legs whenever she was having a cramp or too tired too walk. 
• I want to sit with my mum in our yard and look at my mum's orchid. 
• I want to do mostly everything with her. 
• I want to improve my lack of communication with my mum.

And if ever something happened to my mum, or my dad, or whomever it is in my family, I will feel no regret. As I know, they know how much I love them. 

Or perhaps, if something ever happened to me, they will also know how much I love them. And in memory of that, they will continue living a happy life.

Be loved.

Learned how to loved.

Give loves to the loved one.

For the next minutes--

There are always surprises awaits us.

Regret

For the first time.

My hand was shaking so much--

That my handwriting became all shaky.

Become ugly.

That it became hard for me to keep writing .

It was not because I am mad about something.

Rather, it was because I am broken hearted.

For the first time again.

I failed myself.

Among all the wasteful, rubbish, evil things I did.

I would never be broken hearted like this.

This was the bottom of it.

I always said to myself

"I would never regret anything I did--

Because what I've did, molded me into what I am right now."

And now.

I totally regret my action.

CAM

Assalamu'alaikum..

Today, in Calculus class. Prof revealed our continuous assessment mark (CAM).

It is in total of 60. Add up with with exam, 40. Make a whole of 100.

Sir called my name.

My steps felt heavier when walking towards him.

Heavier than when I was jogging and having a short breath.

Still, I gathered up my courage and step toward his table.

'I don't think you can do this, Shidah.'

I take a quick look at my mark while Prof was uttering that word.

My heart sank. Prof's words become an echo in my ears.

As if I can't hear anything. I don't want to hear anything.

But still, thank you Prof for keeping my mark as a secret and do not announce it publicly.

Thank you for taking care of my pride.

Prof had made me a promise, in which I have to kick my ass to fulfill them.

If I am able to fulfill his condition, I will pass Calculus.

Please don't think anything dirty, haha.

Prof is like a father to me.

Walking back to my chair, I was afraid and shamed.

Knowing that my friends will ask me how much my mark is.

As I predicted, they asked. But I keep my mouth tight.

To speechless to say, to nonsense to think, I start laughing.

And breathing a long sigh.

Both of my friends, in my right and left.

Hold my hands and laugh with me.

Their hand felt so warm that it warmth my cold hands.

As itwarmth my cold heart too.

Their words of encouragement made me believe that I can do it.

It is through their warm touch--

their friendly and loving gaze--

their word of encouragement--

I have found my strength again.

Thank you for holding tight to me.

I am glad Prof told you to sit in the front row.

And I am grateful that both of you--

Chose to sit in my left and right.

Thank you

Quick nap

Assalamu'alaikum..

I am exhausted. Utterly exhausted.

I have so many, so much things to be done in my head.
I can literally and practically list them out.

But still.

Despite of me having so many work to be settled, I haven't done anything yet.

It's just.

So much thing to do, and you decide that you should take a quick nap.

And it turns out that nap has become a long and deep sleep.

Except for the fact I am not sleeping.

I just do other things to keep me distracted from my work.

Such as.

Blogging.

Okay bye, haha.

'Nak masuk boleh?'

Assalamu'alaikum.

Islam itu lengkap. Setiap penjelasan mencakupi segala hal. Dari sebesar-besar hal sehingga sekecil-kecil hal. Contoh, minta izin sebelum masuk bilik ibu bapa. Surah An-Nur ayat 58-59.

Itu pun ada dijelaskan dalam kita al-Quran. Walhal benda itu macam 'alaaa, rilek aaa'. Dinyatakan lagi waktu bila kita harus minta izin untuk masuk ke bilik ibu bapa.

- Sebelum solat Subuh
- Waktu tengah hari
- Selepas solat Isya'.

Dan dijelaskan lagi, apabila telah baligh, maka haruslah kamu meminta izin. Hal ini tak semestinya diaplikasi untuk bilik tidur ibu bapa sahaja. Amalkan dengan bilik saudara kita dan sahabat kita.

Contoh mudah, 1 bilik di UIA terbahagi kepada 4 cubicle. Maka, cubicle itu boleh dikira bilik dan bilik adalah tempat privasi untuk seseorang. Itulah tempat persalinan, tempat santapan, tempat belajar, etc.

Walaupun kita rapat dengan room mate kita, setiap kali kita nak masuk bilik dia, minta izin terlebih dahulu. Panggil nama dia, tanya boleh ke tak kita nak masuk bilik. Kalau diberi keizinan, maka masuk. Kalau tidak, berdiri saja di luar cubicle tuh.

Contoh lah. Kita nak masuk bilik kawan, nak tanya sesuatu, nak bersembang ke apa ke. Main redah je tirai yang menjadi pintu cubicle tuh. Salam tak bagi, minta izin pun tidak. Tetiba ternampak kawan kita tengah salin baju. Tak ke malu? Kawan kita malu, kita pun malu.

Maka beringat, lepas nih kalau nak masuk bilik orang, minta izin dulu.