CAM

Assalamu'alaikum..

Today, in Calculus class. Prof revealed our continuous assessment mark (CAM).

It is in total of 60. Add up with with exam, 40. Make a whole of 100.

Sir called my name.

My steps felt heavier when walking towards him.

Heavier than when I was jogging and having a short breath.

Still, I gathered up my courage and step toward his table.

'I don't think you can do this, Shidah.'

I take a quick look at my mark while Prof was uttering that word.

My heart sank. Prof's words become an echo in my ears.

As if I can't hear anything. I don't want to hear anything.

But still, thank you Prof for keeping my mark as a secret and do not announce it publicly.

Thank you for taking care of my pride.

Prof had made me a promise, in which I have to kick my ass to fulfill them.

If I am able to fulfill his condition, I will pass Calculus.

Please don't think anything dirty, haha.

Prof is like a father to me.

Walking back to my chair, I was afraid and shamed.

Knowing that my friends will ask me how much my mark is.

As I predicted, they asked. But I keep my mouth tight.

To speechless to say, to nonsense to think, I start laughing.

And breathing a long sigh.

Both of my friends, in my right and left.

Hold my hands and laugh with me.

Their hand felt so warm that it warmth my cold hands.

As itwarmth my cold heart too.

Their words of encouragement made me believe that I can do it.

It is through their warm touch--

their friendly and loving gaze--

their word of encouragement--

I have found my strength again.

Thank you for holding tight to me.

I am glad Prof told you to sit in the front row.

And I am grateful that both of you--

Chose to sit in my left and right.

Thank you